There are characters in the world that I identify with more than others. Characters who strike a cord in my heart and never leave me. And one of those characters, perhaps the character that I feel most strongly about is none other than Donna Noble. So, since I am a geek and I just finished bawling my eyes out to her last episode (spoilers), I figured it was time to write about my kindred spirit.
Donna doesn’t believe she’s anything special. And, on the surface, she isn’t. She’s in her 30s, single, living at home, working boring office jobs, falls for the wrong men, has friends who she doesn’t always like, fights with her mother and longs for something more. She is crying out for more in the world, for dreams that she doesn’t believe she deserves. But that doesn’t stop her from dreaming.
Instead of allowing people to see all of this, though, Donna hides it all under layers and layers of sarcasm, shouting and snark. She shouts at the world with the hope that someone is listening.
The first time I ever saw Donna I hated her. Oh, I hated her. And when I expressed my opinion of Donna to my dear friend, Stephen, he pointed out what I was too blind to see. I am Donna. I am the same cut, the same spunk, the same everything. My life isn’t quite the same, but my personality? Oh fuck me it’s the same thing. I am Donna.
She will always be the character I feel for the most. Because I understanding wanting more in life, but being so caught up in the day to day that you don’t believe “more” is ever going to come. I understand having dreams that seem to slip away because you spend eight (or ten) hours a day typing away at a computer just to make enough money to pay the rent. And I understanding having BIG PLANS that always seem to fade away because the world doesn’t allow you to follow through. But more than anything, I understanding hiding all of your hurt with sarcasm and snark. Allowing people to see how fragile and lonely you really are isn’t an option, is it? And it’s easier to make people laugh rather than being laughed at. Being vulnerable isn’t easy and being closed off and absent from emotions is a cinch.
So when (seriously, spoilers) Donna is robbed of her time with The Doctor and forced to go back to her boring life, I bawl. I cry my eyes out because I get it. I long for a life outside of this small city, this small job and this small life. I yearn for a big life, traveling, seeing the world, making a difference. And, just like Donna, I am waiting for someone big and wonderful to come along and make it easier for me to achieve all my dreams.
Everyone has characters they understand. Everyone has watched a movie, read a book, listened to a song and seen a television show and thought… “Yes. Yes I understand this. Yes, I get this struggle. Yes, I sympathize.” And tonight, that was me. I understand the lonely girl who doesn’t think she’s worth much and hides it all with sarcasm. So, Donna Noble. I get you. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.